How to Talk to Kids About Mental Health (Without Making It Weird)

Let’s face it—talking to kids about mental health can feel intimidating. What do you say? How much is too much? What if you say the wrong thing? The good news is that you don’t need a psychology degree or the perfect words. You just need curiosity, patience, and a willingness to show up.

Mental health isn’t some “grown-up-only” topic. Kids have mental health, just like they have physical health. And just like we teach them to brush their teeth and wash their hands, we can teach them how to care for their minds and emotions too.

Whether you’re a parent, caregiver, teacher, aunt, uncle, or even a neighbor who cares deeply—this post will walk you through the why, when, and how of having meaningful, age-appropriate conversations with kids about mental health.

Why It Matters (A Lot More Than You Might Think)

Kids today are growing up in a world that moves fast. There’s academic pressure, social media (even for the younger ones), family stress, and a lot of uncertainty. But here’s the thing: Kids notice everything. Even if they don’t fully understand what’s happening, they can feel it. And when they don’t have words for it—or permission to talk about it—it can build up in confusing and unhealthy ways.

When we talk openly about mental health:

1) We normalize feelings like sadness, anger, and worry.

2) We teach kids that it’s okay to ask for help.

3) We lay the groundwork for emotional resilience.

So how do you do it in a way that doesn’t feel forced or scary?

1) Start Early, Keep It Simple

You don’t need to wait until a child is in crisis—or even until they’re a teenager—to start the conversation. In fact, the earlier you introduce these ideas, the easier it is for kids to build emotional vocabulary and confidence.

For younger kids (ages 3–7), you might say: “Sometimes we feel happy, sometimes we feel mad or sad. All feelings are okay. Talking about them helps.”

With elementary-aged kids: “Your brain is like your body—it needs rest, exercise, and care. When we feel worried or overwhelmed, we can do things to help our brain feel better.”

You don’t need fancy language. In fact, the simpler the better. Use stories, games, or everyday moments (like bedtime or car rides) as jumping-off points.

2) Use Everyday Opportunities

Mental health doesn’t need to be a “serious sit-down talk” moment. Some of the best conversations happen while you’re doing ordinary things together—walking the dog, making dinner, folding laundry, or coloring.

Here are some natural opportunities:

A) After a movie or book: “That character looked really sad. What do you think was going on for them?”

B) When a tantrum or meltdown happens: “It’s okay to feel big feelings. Let’s talk about it once you’re calm.”

C) When you’re stressed: “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, so I’m taking a few deep breaths. Want to do it with me?”

Kids learn by watching. The more you model emotional awareness, the more they learn that feelings aren’t scary—they’re just part of being human.

3) Name Feelings (Without Judgment)

Many kids (and honestly, many adults) struggle to identify what they’re feeling. And if they don’t have the language, it’s hard for them to express or manage those emotions.

Try teaching feelings the same way you teach colors or numbers:

A) Use books like The Color Monster or Today I Feel Silly to introduce emotional vocabulary.

B) Make a “feelings chart” or use emoji faces to help them point to what they feel.

C) Reflect back what you notice: “You seem frustrated. Did something happen that made you feel that way?”

Just be careful not to correct their feelings. If a child says they’re scared, don’t say “There’s nothing to be scared of.” Instead, try: “That sounds really hard. Do you want to talk about it or do something to feel safer?”

4) Teach That Feelings Aren’t Good or Bad—They’re Just Messengers

One powerful way to talk about mental health is to reframe emotions as information, not enemies. This helps kids (and adults) stop judging themselves for how they feel.

You might say:

“Feelings are like messengers. Anger might be telling us something doesn’t feel fair. Sadness might mean we need comfort. Worry might mean our brain is trying to keep us safe.”

Once kids understand that feelings have a purpose, they can start asking themselves: “What is this feeling trying to tell me?” instead of just reacting.

5) Be Honest, But Age-Appropriate

Kids are sharp. If something is going on—whether it’s in the family, at school, or in the world—they’ll sense it. Honesty builds trust, but that doesn’t mean they need all the gritty details.

Let’s say you’re struggling with anxiety. You might say:

“My brain gets really busy sometimes and it makes me feel worried, even when nothing bad is happening. When that happens, I take some deep breaths and remind myself I’m safe.”

If someone in the family is depressed:

“They’re feeling really sad and tired right now. It’s not because of anything you did, and it’s okay to have questions. We’re doing our best to help them feel better.”

Kids don’t need you to be perfect—they need you to be real.

6) Don’t Just Talk—Listen

Sometimes, kids don’t need a lecture or a life lesson. They just need someone to hear them out. If a child says they’re upset or scared or sad, try:

A) “I’m so glad you told me.”

B) “That sounds really tough. I’m here with you.”

C) “Thank you for sharing that. You can always talk to me.”

Avoid jumping straight to solutions. Ask if they want help solving the problem or if they just need a hug or a listening ear. Sometimes presence is more powerful than advice.

7) Address the Big Questions (Even If They’re Hard)

If a child asks about suicide, self-harm, bullying, or violence, it’s okay to feel a lump in your throat—but don’t shut the door on those questions. Kids hear things at school, online, or even on the news. If you don’t talk about it, they’ll fill in the blanks themselves.

Try something like:

“That’s a really important question. Let’s talk about it together.”

And then:

A) Use clear but gentle language.

B) Reassure them that they’re not alone.

C) Offer resources (like school counselors or therapists) if needed.

You don’t need to know everything. You just need to be willing to explore the question together.

8) Normalize Help-Seeking

One of the best gifts you can give a child is the message that asking for help is brave, not shameful.

You might say:

“Just like we go to a doctor when we’re sick, we can talk to a therapist or counselor when our heart or mind hurts.”

“Talking to someone about your feelings doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. It means you’re strong and smart enough to get support.”

If a child needs therapy, frame it as something positive, not a punishment or a last resort. Let them know it’s a safe space to be themselves and learn tools that can help.

9) Make Mental Health Part of Your Everyday Language

You don’t need a special reason to bring up mental health. The more we treat it like a normal, ongoing conversation, the less scary or taboo it becomes.

You can say things like:

A) “What’s something that made your brain feel happy today?”

B) “Did you have any ‘tricky’ feelings today?”

C) “Let’s check in—how’s your heart feeling right now?”

Make it playful, curious, and regular—like brushing teeth, but for the soul.

10) Keep Showing Up

You won’t always say the perfect thing. You’ll stumble. You might over-explain, or under-explain, or fumble your words. That’s okay.

What matters most is that you keep showing up. That you keep creating space for emotional honesty, for questions, for tough feelings, and for joy.

Mental health conversations aren’t a one-and-done kind of deal. They’re a lifelong series of moments—big and small—where kids learn it’s okay to feel, okay to struggle, and always okay to ask for help.

Final Thought: You’re Planting Seeds

Maybe you won’t see the results right away. But every time you talk openly, every time you validate a feeling, every time you model self-care or take a deep breath when you’re overwhelmed—you’re planting a seed.

And one day, that child will grow up knowing that their feelings matter. That their mind is worth caring for. That they can come to you when life gets hard. And that’s the kind of world we’re all trying to build.

You don’t have to get it perfect. You just have to start.

Feel free to reach out for more support and information on how to talk to kids about feelings