10 Things You Can Do When Your Anxiety Feels Overwhelming: A Therapist’s Guide
When Anxiety Feels Overwhelming, Start Here
Have you ever had one of those moments when your anxiety seems to take over everything?
Your heart is racing. Your thoughts are moving a mile a minute. You may feel restless, tense, distracted, or convinced that something is about to go wrong.
And then there’s often a second layer of frustration: “Why can’t I just calm down?”
As a therapist, I want you to know that struggling to calm yourself when you’re anxious doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. Anxiety is designed to get your attention. When your brain perceives a threat, whether that threat is real, uncertain, or simply something you’re imagining, your body can respond as though you need to protect yourself right now.
So when anxiety feels overwhelming, the goal doesn’t have to be “make this feeling disappear.”
Instead, start with:
“How can I help myself feel a little safer and more grounded in this moment?”
Here are 10 strategies I often recommend.
1) Slow Your Breathing
One of the simplest things you can do when anxiety feels overwhelming is pay attention to your breathing.
When we’re anxious, breathing can become faster or shallower without us even noticing. Taking a few slow, comfortable breaths can help you pause and reconnect with your body.
Try inhaling gently for about four seconds and then exhaling for about six seconds. Repeat for several breaths.
Don’t worry about doing it perfectly. You aren’t trying to force yourself to relax. You’re simply slowing things down.
Try telling yourself:
“I don’t have to solve everything right now. I’m just going to take this one breath.”
2) Use a Grounding Technique
Anxiety often pulls our attention away from the present and into an imagined future.
What if I fail?
What if something happens?
What if I can’t handle it?
Grounding can help bring your attention back to what’s happening right now.
One technique you can try is the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise:
– Name five things you can see.
– Notice four things you can physically feel.
– Identify three things you can hear.
– Notice two things you can smell.
– Identify one thing you can taste.
The purpose isn’t to make your anxiety vanish. It’s to give your brain something concrete to focus on besides the anxious story.
3) Name the Feeling Instead of Fighting It
When anxiety shows up, our instinct can be to push it away.
I shouldn’t feel this way.
I need to stop thinking about this.
Why am I like this?
Unfortunately, fighting an emotion doesn’t always make it disappear.
Instead, try acknowledging what’s happening:
“I’m feeling anxious right now.”
You might also get more specific:
“I’m worried about what might happen tomorrow.”
“I’m feeling overwhelmed because I have too much on my plate.”
Naming what you’re experiencing can create a little distance between you and the emotion.
You’re not saying, “Everything is fine.”
You’re saying, “This is what I’m experiencing right now, and I can respond to it.”
4) Question the Anxious Thought
Anxiety can turn uncertainty into certainty.
You might make one small mistake and immediately think:
“I’m going to get fired.”
Or someone doesn’t respond to your message and your mind jumps to:
“They’re upset with me.”
Before accepting the anxious thought as fact, pause and ask:
– What evidence do I actually have?
– Am I assuming the worst?
– Is there another possible explanation?
– What would I say to a friend having this same thought?
– Do I know this is true, or am I afraid it might be true?
You don’t have to replace an anxious thought with forced positivity.
Instead of:
“Everything will definitely be fine!”
try:
“I don’t know what will happen yet, but I can handle the next step.”
That is often a much more believable and helpful place to start.
5) Focus on What You Can Control
One of the biggest sources of anxiety is trying to gain certainty about things we simply cannot control.
You can’t control what another person thinks.
You can’t predict every possible outcome.
You can’t guarantee that nothing uncomfortable will happen.
But you can ask:
“What is within my control right now?”
Maybe you can prepare for the meeting.
Maybe you can send the email.
Maybe you can have a difficult conversation.
Maybe you can take a break and come back to the problem later.
When anxiety feels huge, shrink the problem down to the next manageable action.
You don’t need to figure out the next year.
Just figure out the next step.
6) Take a Short Break From the Anxiety Trigger
Sometimes you need a little space before you can think clearly.
If you’re staring at your phone waiting for a response, step away for 10 minutes.
If you’re working on a stressful assignment, take a short break.
If you’ve been reading upsetting news for an hour, put your phone down.
A break isn’t necessarily avoidance.
There’s an important difference between taking a temporary pause to regulate yourself and continually avoiding something because you’re afraid of it.
The first can help you return to the situation with more clarity.
7) Notice Your Reassurance-Seeking Habits
When we’re anxious, it’s natural to want reassurance.
You might repeatedly Google your symptoms, check your email, reread a text message, ask someone if they’re upset with you, or repeatedly check that you’ve locked the door.
These behaviors can provide temporary relief.
But sometimes that relief teaches your brain:
“I can only feel okay if I check.”
Over time, that can keep the anxiety cycle going.
When you notice yourself seeking reassurance, pause and ask:
“Am I solving a problem, or am I trying to make uncertainty disappear?”
You don’t have to stop every reassurance behavior overnight. Start by noticing the pattern.
Awareness is an important first step.
8) Reach Out to Someone You Trust
Anxiety can make you feel like you have to figure everything out alone.
You don’t.
Sometimes you don’t need someone to fix the situation. You simply need connection.
You might text a friend:
“I’m feeling really anxious today. Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
Or tell someone:
“I don’t need advice right now. I just need some company.”
Being supported doesn’t make you weak or dependent. Humans are wired for connection, and having safe people in our lives can make difficult experiences easier to navigate.
9) Check Your Basic Needs
When you’re overwhelmed, it’s easy to forget the basics.
Ask yourself:
Have I eaten?
Have I had enough water?
Did I get any sleep last night?
Have I been sitting at my desk for six hours without moving?
Have I had any time away from my responsibilities today?
These things aren’t cures for anxiety, but they can affect how well you’re able to cope with it.
Sometimes the most helpful anxiety coping strategy isn’t complicated. It may be eating a meal, drinking some water, taking a walk, getting some sleep, or stepping outside for a few minutes.
Start with the basics.
10) Know When to Ask for Professional Help
There is a difference between experiencing anxiety occasionally and living with anxiety that consistently interferes with your life.
Consider talking with a mental health professional if anxiety is regularly affecting your:
– Sleep
– Relationships
– Work or school
– Ability to concentrate
– Daily responsibilities
– Enjoyment of activities you normally like
You don’t have to wait until you’re completely overwhelmed to reach out.
Therapy can provide a space to understand where your anxiety comes from, identify patterns that keep it going, and develop personalized tools for managing it.
And if you’re experiencing thoughts of harming yourself, feel unable to stay safe, or are in immediate danger, seek urgent help through emergency services or a crisis service in your area.
What If I Can’t Calm My Anxiety Right Away?
This is something I want to emphasize because it’s easy to become frustrated with yourself.
Sometimes you can use every technique you’ve learned and still feel anxious.
That doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
The purpose of coping skills isn’t always to make anxiety disappear immediately. Sometimes they’re about helping you stay present while the wave passes.
Think about it this way: you don’t have to stop the waves to learn how to stay afloat.
Instead of asking:
“How do I make this anxiety go away?”
try asking:
“What would help me get through the next 10 minutes?”
That small shift can make an overwhelming experience feel more manageable.
You Don’t Have to Figure Everything Out Today
Anxiety can make the future feel urgent.
It tells you that you need an answer right now.
But you don’t have to solve every problem today.
Take a breath.
Come back to the present.
Notice what you’re feeling.
Focus on what you can control.
Reach out for support when you need it.
And remind yourself that experiencing anxiety doesn’t mean you’re incapable of handling what’s ahead.
Sometimes progress isn’t about feeling completely calm.
Sometimes it’s simply recognizing, “I’m anxious, and I’m still here. I can take the next step.”
A Note From a Therapist
If anxiety has become a regular part of your life, you don’t have to manage it alone. A qualified mental health professional can help you understand your symptoms and find strategies that fit your individual needs.
This article is intended for general educational purposes and isn’t a substitute for individualized mental health care.