Being Diagnosed with a Chronic Condition and Mental Health: A Personal Journey
Being diagnosed with a chronic condition is a life-changing event. It’s something that affects not just your physical health but also your mental and emotional well-being. When you’re first told that you have a condition that can stay with you for the long term, there’s often a whirlwind of emotions: shock, confusion, fear, anger, and even grief. But, as time goes on, you can start to realize that the effects of this diagnosis stretch far beyond your body. It begins to impact how you think, how you feel, how you interact with others, and how you view your future.
Throughout this article I will be quoting a client I interviewed for this article who struggles with managing a chronic condition and mental health. To protect the confidentiality of my client, names and conditions will not be used.
“I remember the day I received my diagnosis, and to be honest, it felt like a moment that shifted the entire course of my life. It was almost like the ground beneath me was pulled away, and I had to learn to navigate an entirely new reality. My doctor gave me the news with a calm, clinical tone. They mentioned the name of my condition, explained what it meant, and listed the treatments that I would need to consider. But honestly, I wasn’t listening to most of it. My mind was too busy grappling with the overwhelming nature of the words I’d just heard: chronic, lifelong, and incurable.
At that moment, I was hit with a cascade of emotions, and one of the first things I felt was fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of how my body was going to change. Fear of how my life would change. But over time, I realized that fear wasn’t the only emotion I was dealing with. A constant feeling of sadness and frustration also came in waves. There were days when it felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, and I couldn’t see a way out. These emotions weren’t just fleeting; they were persistent, nagging, and often exhausting.
As I began to process the reality of living with a chronic condition, it became clear to me how deeply intertwined chronic physical illness and mental health can be. It’s not just about managing the physical symptoms of a condition—it’s about coping with the psychological and emotional toll it takes on you as a person.”
The Mental Health Toll of Chronic Conditions
A chronic diagnosis doesn’t just affect the body—it affects the mind. Chronic illness can bring feelings of isolation. “In the beginning, it’s difficult to explain to others what you’re going through. Sometimes you don’t even fully understand it yourself. You might find yourself retreating from social situations, either because you’re physically tired or because you’re mentally exhausted from trying to explain something that’s hard to put into words.”
Stigma also appears to play a big role in people who struggle with chronic conditions lives, especially the conditions that aren’t visible. People may feel like they have to justify themselves constantly. “I remember having to explain why I couldn’t do certain activities or why I was sometimes too tired to keep up with friends. This feeling of not being believed or understood can wear on your mental health. You start to question your own experience, wondering if it’s really as bad as it feels or if you’re just being too dramatic.”
But perhaps one of the hardest things to deal with mentally is the sense of loss. Chronic illness often means giving up things you once took for granted: a carefree lifestyle, the ability to travel on a whim, participating in activities you love without considering your physical limitations. The loss of these freedoms can lead to feelings of sadness, anger, and frustration. “There are times when I mourn the life I thought I would have. I mourned the career I thought I’d pursue, the adventures I thought I’d experience, and the health I thought I’d take for granted.”
Along with the emotional toll, anxiety and depression are common companions for those with chronic conditions. It’s not uncommon for people to experience heightened anxiety due to the unpredictability of their condition or the fear of it worsening over time. The anxiety might not only be about the future of your health but also about how you’ll be able to manage the day-to-day responsibilities of life—work, relationships, and self-care. On top of that, depression can easily creep in, especially when you feel like you’re not making any progress or when you feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel.
The Impact on Relationships
Living with a chronic condition also affects your relationships, both with those closest to you and with acquaintances. It can be tough for others to understand what you’re going through. Even well-meaning friends and family members may unintentionally offer advice or suggestions that come across as dismissive. You might hear things like, “Have you tried eating better?” or “You should just stay positive.” While these comments are meant to be helpful, they can feel invalidating, especially when you’re struggling with your mental health.
This disconnect between your experience and what others perceive can lead to frustration and resentment. “It becomes difficult to explain how draining it is to constantly manage both your body and mind. It’s tough when you feel like your loved ones don’t fully get it” and this can lead to feelings of loneliness or alienation. “Sometimes, I found myself withdrawing, not because I didn’t want to be around my friends and family, but because I was too tired or overwhelmed to engage in the way I once did. I didn’t want them to see me in a weakened state, and I didn’t want to burden them with my struggles.”
At the same time, the condition can have a positive effect on some relationships. There are people who may step up in ways you’d never imagine. Friends and family can show incredible understanding, patience, and compassion. These relationships could become even more meaningful because they’ve been tested and can weather the challenges of chronic illness. For those who truly understand and stand by you, the bond becomes stronger.
The Intersection of Mental Health and Chronic Illness Management
While the emotional and psychological challenges of chronic illness are real, they can also be managed. The key appears to be finding a balance between addressing the mental health aspect of your condition while also managing the physical side. It’s not enough to just see a doctor for your physical symptoms; it’s crucial to seek support for your mental well-being, too.
“In my own experience, I found that therapy was incredibly helpful. Brittany has helped me untangle the feelings of guilt, anger, and fear that were swirling inside me. Talking to someone who was outside of my day-to-day life allowed me to gain perspective and identify patterns in my thoughts and behaviors that were contributing to my distress. Therapy also helped me realize that it’s okay to grieve the life I thought I would have. It’s okay to feel sadness, anger, and frustration. These are normal human emotions, and they deserve to be acknowledged and worked through.”
In addition to therapy, mindfulness and relaxation techniques are useful in managing anxiety and stress. Chronic illness often leads to a heightened state of alertness, and learning to calm the mind and body through deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can provide a sense of relief. These practices can help manage moments of anxiety and panic when you feel overwhelmed by the uncertainties of your condition.
Furthermore, it appears very important to have a support system that includes both medical professionals and people you trust. Having a team of healthcare providers who understand the full scope of your condition, including its mental health impacts, is crucial. “I was fortunate to have doctors who took my mental health seriously and recommended support beyond physical treatment.”
Finding Hope and Resilience
“The road to managing both a chronic condition and mental health is a long one, and there are still days when I struggle. But over time, I’ve learned that resilience doesn’t mean never feeling overwhelmed. Resilience is about finding a way to keep going despite the difficult days. It’s about accepting the reality of your situation while still fighting for a life that feels fulfilling and meaningful.
I’ve come to realize that living with a chronic condition doesn’t define me, though it certainly shapes my experiences. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and taking care of my mind is an ongoing process. Some days are better than others, but I’ve learned to acknowledge the struggles and give myself credit for the strength it takes to face them.
What I’ve learned through this journey is that it’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to acknowledge that mental health plays a critical role in managing chronic illness. And it’s okay to mourn the life you thought you’d have, as long as you also allow yourself to celebrate the life you’re building, no matter how different it may be.
Chronic illness might be a part of my life, but it doesn’t have to be the whole story. Mental health is an integral part of that story, and it deserves attention, care, and compassion. By recognizing the connection between physical and mental well-being, I’ve been able to find a path forward that includes both the challenges and the triumphs.”
Please visit my website for additional information on how I work with chronic conditions